A Letter to Dad----

Dear Dad,

Last year, this time, when the world was celebrating valentine day with fun and gusto, I along with some relatives and villagers, at the bank of pious Ganga river, was preparing to bid you forever good bye. This was one of the worst moments of my life; I was meeting with you after fourteen months just to see your mortal body! Dad, I never realized before that one day you would leave us, you would make us forlorn and leave this mortal world without meeting me. I wanted to talk with you, you and me and no one around us, I wanted to complain, I wanted to weep bitterly in your bosom, I wanted to hug you, I wanted to kiss you but I could not let out my pent-up emotions before everybody . Still I regret—that was the last time to confess my unlimited and endless love towards you, that was the last moment to heart out before you—dad, I lost the opportunity ! And I know, I ll regret this entire life.

Dad, I have been very poor in confessing love. I still do not know how to express love. Perhaps my bizarre taciturn behavior and my queer unusual outburst were the mute expression of deepest love towards you. I had a feeling that I loved grand pa more than mom and you but after losing you last year I realized that it was you dad, it was you, to whom I loved the most. I never felt so deeply about anyone, not even after the demise of grand pa, with whom I was so free and near. From last year not a single day I have slept without moist eyes, every night I remember my childhood, days spent with you, your story telling session and yours over religious routine life.

Dad, I always found a saint in you. You were a saint in the family set up. Open hearted, simple, imposing, kind hearted and a real gentle man. A man with limited needs. You never wore costly cloths, always had simple food and never believed in pomp and decorated life.  Your simple and selfless life always inspires me to lead a virtuous life.

Dad, I had a complaint against you, you never approved my theatre activities. I always wanted you to see my stage plays, street plays and other theatre activities.  I never got courage to invite you because I knew your detest for this form of art. But recently when mom told me that you never missed my any radio dramas and you had made a file in which you collected all the paper clippings related to my theatre activities, I could not resist crying. Whole night I wept. Why dad, why? Why didn’t you say one time to me that you really liked my work, you indeed felt my work was meaningful for the society.

Dad, I have so many things to share with you, I want to talk with you nonstop, for a long time but dad, emotion is overpowering me and tears are rolling down on my cheek. Now I am unable to ---------------


Love you Dad, love you more than salt!

Yours,
Ramanuj

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Ramanuj Dubey